Good Enough by Jen Petro-Roy

Author:Jen Petro-Roy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

* * *

I just farted three times in a row, and the room smells like death. I really hope no one notices, but Ali keeps looking at me. She’s rifling through an old copy of O magazine for art therapy, cutting out phrases like “Live Your Best Life” and “The Power of You” for the collages we’re making.

I wonder if she’ll start blackmailing me because of my death farts, too.

It probably wouldn’t be a big deal if I admitted it was me. That’s something Willow told me, that farting is normal while our bodies are getting used to food again. Constipation, too. And bloating. So basically our stomachs are plotting revenge against us.

“You’re all farting machines now.” Willow laughed. I did, too. (Farts never stop being funny.) “But it’ll level off, just like your anxiety. That’s what you have to remember when you’re eating and when your stomach hurts. Anxiety comes in waves. It starts out low, then peaks into panic.”

I nodded. I know that feeling. My anxiety peaks all the time. Especially when I eat fear foods. We talked about fear foods during Nutrition Group yesterday.

Brenna’s is ice cream.

Laura’s are juice and butter.

Meredith’s is chocolate.

Mine is peanut butter.

Normal people are afraid of undercooked meat. Or raw eggs. Stuff that can make them sick. For us, fear foods are things we’re afraid will make us gain weight or lose control. In here, they make us try new things to prove our fear foods won’t kill us.

“Remember, if you wait out the anxiety and surf the wave…” Willow pretended she was on a surfboard. “Then the anxiety will crest and fall. You’ll realize there’s nothing to be afraid of. Whether it’s a peanut butter sandwich or adjusting to a new body shape, everything becomes normal after a little while, especially now that you’re feeding your brain enough to reason with it.” She pretended to fall off her surfboard. I rolled my eyes.

What Willow said made sense. She made me want to believe her. She made me want to eat a peanut butter sandwich. I really do like peanut butter. Once I even dreamed about it. (Okay, twice.)

That’s why I let Willow convince me to put it on my menu for tomorrow.

“I know you can do this, Riley. I promise that once you have that sandwich, you’ll realize peanut butter isn’t such a big deal. That it’s normal to fuel your body.” She looked me in the eye. “Do you trust me?”

Ed told me not to trust her. He told me Willow was a big lying liar who lies. He said I’d die if I ate that sandwich.

“I trust you,” I told her. “I can do it.”

I still don’t know if I can. But I’m going to try.

I’m going to fart, too, apparently.

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